Choices and the Pain thereof
by Munkman13
Summary: A little look into the inner mind of Pacifica Northwest at dinner in her mansion. Nothing groundbreaking, a little look into her life after some initial events.


**Gravity Falls belongs to Alex H. I own nothing not even this computer**

Pacifica slowly chased the single red cheery tomato around her plate. The plate was made from a polished metal, cleaned so finely that she could see her reflection. She looked at her water glass, she was not allowed to have soda or juice at dinner. The glass was half full and she could see the entire room reflected in it.

The servants in identical black maid and butler uniforms lined the walls. Pitchers and plates with more food in their white gloved hands. The cavernous room seemed even larger with them standing at attention along the great tapestries that hung along the silk lined wood. There was a great chandelier hanging in the middle of the room, made of pure white gold, an ivy and leaf pattern along the sprawling candles.

Pacifica could see her father at one end of the great table, and her mother at the other. His newspaper and her vanity mirror close at hand, just in case he became worried about the stocks or she became paranoid that the dye she used was fading.

'Loosing a few hundred dollars or a grey hair showing. Scandalous.' She thought to herself sarcastically. She felt a twinge at the back of her neck and on her elbows. Right where the needles had gone in.

'DANGER!DANGER!DANGER! Don't think of that!' Her mind screamed at her. She shuddered and stabbed the tomato. A bit of juice leaked out onto the plate. She popped it into her mouth and chewed thoughtfully. It was around seven, still bright out thanks to the summer time change. She could take a swim, use the tennis courts...something to kill some time. It wouldn't be too far to get into town, have the chauffeur or even just walk and enjoy the daylight.

'Might see the girls.' The only two girls that she knew in town remotely well lived on the same road as her, she could always call them or something see if they wanted to hang out. 'Or I could see what the Pine's are doing...'

The Pine's family. The town's residents sociopaths. More so then the usual weirdos that came and went all summer long. She could always see how they were doing...make fun of their clothing, maybe add a bit of revenue to their tacky little hovel and purchase something. Hopefully Mabel and Dipper would be there for her to belittle. She enjoyed belittling them, they wouldn't just take it, and there was no fear of her in their eyes.

The Pine's twins feared nothing. She had once been out for a jog with one of her personal trainers when she saw them sprint out of the woods being chased by some sort of multieyed scarecrow. They truly feared nothing and that was amazing.

They didn't even fear those things at the golf course. She couldn't remember what they were, she wished that she did.

She could recall pieces of that night, the twins, golfing, excitement, fear, unbridled exhilaration, she had actually had fun for the first time in a long time. Of course it cost the family Sergi but they got a replacement one. She could recall getting a ride back from the golf course and having a peasant's version of a taco for the first time in her life, it was disgusting, once she had gotten home there were fireworks, and banners. It was amazing, her parents must have had someone watching to make certain that she had won.

She had been right, someone had been watching, they saw everything. Her father wasn't fond of this. She had approached him with the subject once, only once, and the next thing she knew she was being removed from a chair and brought out of the old museum. Her father carried her out, he carried her for the first time since she was four.

She didn't remember everything but she did remember forgetting. She remembered her father being involved, maybe her mother but she was such an airhead that it was impossible to be sure. She confronted them about this. It had been raining when she did, not at night, during lunch, she had broached the subject.

There was screaming and words and objects thrown...then the look on her parents faces, a man one of the servants picking her up and she was brought to a room deep within the manor, she didn't even know it had been there.

'Danger! Danger! AVOID AT ALL COSTS!' Pacifica flinched and a flash of pain went over her body. They had become much more common since the party a few weeks ago. The first time she had gone against her parent's wishes and won. She had beaten her father.

She had beaten the bell.

The one that ran constantly while the needles were put into her elbows and neck. Dingaling, Dingaling, Dingaling. And the amount of electricity that went into her. It was too much she was too small to hold it all.

'DANGER! DANGER! RETREAT! DON'T TOUCH WITH A TEN FOOT POLE!' Pacifica picked up her water goblet and took a sip, the taste of fresh imported tomato exiting her now refreshed mouth.

She looked down at her father, he motioned for dessert to be brought forward. A lemon pie made by a french chef who got the ingredients from El Salvador. Pacifica wondered not for the first time what the ice-cream in the stores tasted like. The clattering of her father and mother eating filled the room. They sat at opposite ends of the twenty foot table, never making eye contact. And there she sat in the middle of it.

She took a small scoop of the pie. Ate it and realized that she was not hungry. The terms of endearment and the conditioning to be ladylike had gone into her along with the electricity and the Dingaling. The manners had been her father's idea, her mother who was from The West Coast had thought of her previous speech patterns to be 'Endearing'.

No her father wanted a tone of respect in her voice. It had gone in with all of the other things. She felt a thump in her mind, too much, there was too much inside of her. Why had they put in so much? It hurt. She hurt.

The party had been the first moment of relieving some of the pain but now it was getting stronger. She might have fixed one of the cracks in her family name, but there was one in her now.

"Pacifica? Why are you not eating?" Her father called to her, breaking her out of her trance. It had been the first time he had spoken all through the meal.  
"I am not hungry. I guess."  
"If the food is upsetting you I can replace the chef, a new one will be here by morning for breakfast." Preston Northwest signaled for the head butler to come forward, he quickly scribbled a note on a napkin and handed it to him. The butler ran off to do his duty.

"I don't think that it's the food." It was pointless he was not listening anymore but had instead moved on to the bonds section of the paper. Pacifica sighed and looked over at her mother. Her mother had pushed her dish away, she did not often have dessert and left it for the trash. Soemtimes she did not eat anything for days.

"May I please be excused?" Pacifica said to her mother. Pacifica's headache had come on again, stronger, vulgar in it's strength. Her mother ignored her and just began to pet at her hair, as if it were a pekingese.  
"What was that?" Preston Northwest called to her. Pacifica turned to her father.  
"May I please be excused to leave the table?"

"No we are still eating." Pacifica looked down at her plate.  
"I'm done."  
"Well I am not. You will sit until I am finished." Pacifica felt a hot shot of pain go from her elbows to her neck to her brain. She blew air out of her nose slowly.  
"Dad can I please be excused? I really need to-"  
"Pacifica I said no. We are having a family dinner, and to be perfectly frank you are acting indecent." Pacifica was willing to sit a little bit longer, she might have succeeded if he had stopped there. He did not.

"Not the least to say ungrateful. You are a Northwest, do not be indignant towards your parents." The pain came in a wave and it enveloped her entire body, mind and thought.

Standing up sharply enough for her chair to fly back and hit the floor she hit her hands on the table.  
"Ungrateful! I have been nothing but the perfect daughter my entire life! And your calling me ungrateful!"

Preston Northwest was taken aback for a moment but he slowly stood up, his mustache twitching in fury.  
"Yes I am. Now you will sit down and you will finish your dinner quietly before returning to your room. Understand young lady?"  
"NO! I might have just needed to go to the bathroom! Or to have some fresh air! You can't tell me what I can and cannot do!"  
"Pacifica Northwest!" Her mother gasped "How dare you take that tone with your father!"

"After what he did to me?"  
"Tell me darling. What exactly have I done?" Pacifica gasped for air, she could feel it, sliding under her skin, she could feel the six inches of metal.  
"Electrocuted me! Tortured me! You took my memories! And now you're saying I should be grateful!"

Pacifica spun on her heel and began to tromp out of the room, the help quickly opened up the doors as she came close.  
"Pacifica where do you think you are going!"  
"Out! And I might never come back!"  
"Young woman if you leave this manor then you are never coming back!" Pacifica stopped in her tracks. She did not turn, and he continued to speak. "If you walk out that front door you loose everything, your money, your clothing, your reputation. Your name." She almost detected desperation in his voice, just for a moment it sounded as if he were the one pleading.

"You would be nothing if you were not a Northwest Pacifica. Leave here and you are not my daughter anymore."

Pacifica could feel arms around her shoulders, back when she was small and he used to pick her up.  
"Then I guess I'm nothing now." She said quietly. She doubted he had even heard her. She walked out of the manor in her evening dress for the dinner and began to walk down the road to town.

She walked and walked. It grew from bright, to twilight, to dark. She stumbled off the road, and was in the woods, she never liked the woods, it felt as if they were closing the town in, cutting it off from the rest of existence, keeping it a secret.  
Her dress tore and she felt twigs and leaves get trapped in her hair, a shoe broke and then was sucked off completely by some moss. Her bare feet trudged in the underbrush, she felt her feet get sup up by the grass, she had never gone barefoot before, not even when she was very small.

She heard gurgling right before falling into a stream. She rubbed at her face and felt the crust of makeup rub off, she used it to attract attention to her eyes and hair, it did it's job. It gave her another mask. Growling she stood up and squished from the cool water. With a gasp she slipped and skidded in the mud on the far side of the river.

Trudging she came to a meadow. There were mounds dotted everywhere, she looked up and she saw Northwest manor in all of it's glory, her father insisted on keeping every room lit so that he would not have to bother with light switches. Wasteful, yet oddly practical. She sat down on a mound, the air was stagnant she could feel it on her skin. She could see a path that lead back to the manor, maybe if she begged, got down on her knees and pleaded...they would take her back, she clearly hadn't gotten far without the Northwest limo. But...how far away was town? And the Pine's? Mabel wouldn't turn her away, she was too good.

Those sociopaths were always too good. She looked at the manor, and she looked at the trees. One way to town the other to the mansion that she had always called home.

One  
Or  
The  
Other

Which  
One  
Would  
Be  
Best  
?

**I own nothing not even this computer. Alex H. Owns Gravity Falls. Just something I want out of my system. Good show. Very Good Show.**


End file.
